The Capacity for Joy: Navigating the Upper Limit Problem

In this episode of Creative Journey, we continue our series, “The Art of Arrival: Rewiring Your Brain for Joy.” Coach Kaila dives deep into the “Upper Limit Problem”—the subconscious thermostat that often triggers anxiety, worry, or self-sabotage when our lives start going “too well.”

We explore the somatic difference between the Inner Critic, who uses shame to dampen our joy, and the Inner Protector, who uses hyper-vigilance to keep us “safe” in a state of stress. You will learn practical, non-visual tools for stretching your “vessel of joy,” including Titration (taking in happiness in small drops) and Pendulation (moving between a resource and a neutral state). We also discuss how to use Ventral Vagal Anchors—like vocal toning and body anchoring—to stay centered on the Polyvagal ladder when the “voltage” of contentment feels higher than your nervous system is used to. Finally, we walk through the process of tearing up old “Upper Limit Contracts” to shift your identity from a lifelong Striver to a confident Arriver.

Weekly Homework & Action Steps:

The Joy Thermostat Check-In: Twice a day, stop and ask your body: “On a scale of 1-10, how much joy or peace am I allowing myself to feel right now?” If you notice you are dampening your mood, practice “titrating” your satisfaction up by just 1% for 30 seconds to stretch your somatic capacity.

Journaling Prompt: “What is the old ‘Upper Limit’ contract I am ready to tear up today (e.g., ‘I must stay stressed to stay productive’), and what is the new rule I am writing in its place?”

Affirmation: “I have the capacity to hold immense joy. It is safe for me to feel good, and I do not need to ‘pay’ for my happiness with stress.” Connect with Coach Kaila:

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